


Life Has Many Doors, Ed Boys

by dungeonmaster11



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, F/M, Horror, Multi, Romance, Science Fiction, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2020-06-09 16:16:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19479508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dungeonmaster11/pseuds/dungeonmaster11
Summary: Years have passed since the incident at Mondo A-Go-Go.  Life is going well for all in Peach Creek.  Graduation is eminent for the Eds and the Kankers, and while love may yet bloom from old, barren soil, there is trouble in the air.  Strange peculiarities, a tainted presence, and a horror that should not be may herald the end of all life as the Cul-de-Sac's residents know it.  Can it be stopped before it's too late?  Life has many doors, and some are best left unopened...





	1. Prologue: The Sound of Static

**Author's Note:**

> Hello y'all! It's Travis, AKA dungeonmaster11 (or DMXI for short)! I hope y'all are excited, because I know I sure am!!  
> Ed, Edd n Eddy was my gateway to fanfiction and internet fandom in general many years ago in junior high. I've been a fan of the show since it's premier year of 1999, and have followed it devotedly throughout my life.  
> My very first fanfic was the first chapter of a sadly-aborted attempt to make an epic crossover between my favorite cartoon and my favorite game (Final Fantasy IX). And while that may have never fully left the realm of my mind, today I hope to begin what will (hopefully) be a complete EEnE fic; a fantastical and horrifying voyage into the unknown, as well as a story of love blooming in the least likely of places.  
> So come along with me, won't you?

Darkness hung over Mondo A-Go-Go.

The scent of old frying medium mingled with the relatively fresher scent of salty sea air. It was high tide tonight, and the sound of lapping waves echoed throughout the empty park. The odd keening cry of a seagull pierced the air. And in his trailer, Bro stewed with dark thoughts.

“No-good lowlife little pipsqueaks,” he growled, sitting in a filthy, stained armchair. “Comin’ to my turf and…” He winced just thinking about the pain they had caused him and cursed himself for the wince.

It had been years since Eddy and his crummy little entourage had crashed Bro’s party, but still it festered in him, enraging him…and making him fearful.

He had never truly known pain before then. No one had ever _dared_ to hurt him. He was top dog, damn it, and those little turds had made a fool out of him. And those weird sisters had only further humiliated him afterwards. He had never been the same since. Before, this place had been a paradise for him. Away from his family, away from anyone who knew him, he had ruled Mondo A-Go-Go with an iron fist, shaking down and tormenting every little unattended runt that crossed his path.

But now? Now he was a ghost of his former self, jumping and hiding at the first sign of a spine in any kid he bullied, forced to do his actual repairman duties in suffering silence.

He scratched at the patchy scruff covering his cheeks, sighed, and reached for another can of beer. As he took a sip, sour vileness filled his mouth, and he spat the skunky stuff out, gagging and hacking. 

Snarling, he threw the can against the wall with all his might. The can bounced off the surface, spiraling in the air in a spray of smelly amber fizz, before rebounding painfully off the crown of Bro’s head. He let out an involuntary whimper, and once more mentally kicked himself for the show of weakness.

“Gah, stupid, stinkin’, rotten…” he grumbled, rubbing his head as he moved to mop up the beer from the floor.

_Sssssss…_

Bro straightened up. _Was that the TV?_ he thought, perplexed. He looked. 

The TV was off.

_Sssssss…_

It was coming from outside, he realized. It sounded exactly like the hissing of static on a TV or radio, with the volume turned all the way up. He slowly rose to his feet.

“Who’s there?” he barked.

No answer.

_Sssssss…_

“I said, who’s there?!”

Still, no answer, save for the static.

_Don’t do it,_ a part of him warned as he marched towards the door. _Just stay inside, pretend you didn’t hear anything, and go full blotto._

“Shut up,” he muttered, sick and tired of his own cowardice. He rolled up his sleeves and undid the several chains and locks on his door. “Alright,” he boomed, slamming the door wide open. “Who’s lookin’ for a beat…a bea…a…” he trailed off at what he saw.

_Sssssss…_

Bro screamed.


	2. Odd Warnings and Odd Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years have passed since the incident at Mondo A-Go-Go. Life is going well for all in Peach Creek. Graduation is eminent for the Eds and the Kankers, and while love may yet bloom from old, barren soil, there is trouble in the air. Strange peculiarities, a tainted presence, and a horror that should not be may herald the end of all life as the Cul-de-Sac's residents know it. Can it be stopped before it's too late? Life has many doors, and some are best left unopened...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Here's the first chapter proper! I took a good deal more time writing this one out, and I hope y'all enjoy it! Later on I'll be adding an illustration to it, from my good pal Alice!

_Eddward…_

Edd turned over in his sleep fitfully.

_Beware, Eddward…_

Edd snorted and whimpered, still in a restless doze.

_THE WATCHER COMES, EDDWARD!_

Edd shot awake with a yelp and leapt out of his bed, frantically scanning the room. 

Nothing was out of the ordinary. No one was there. 

Letting out a shaky sigh of relief, Edd sat back on his mattress, wiping the nervous sweat from his brow. What had that voice been? A dream, he surmised, but felt uneasy leaving it at that. It had sounded so real, so direct, he could have sworn someone had been in the room with him. But the only living things besides himself were Jim the Cactus and his ant farm.

“I don’t suppose that was _you_ talking, was it, Jim?” he chuckled, looking at the cactus. Jim had no response, of course. Several years later, and Jim was still as hearty and healthy as ever, despite Ed having eaten a good chunk of him all those years ago. 

“Well,” Edd said, stretching. “Might as well get ready to start the day!”

Edd went about his usual routine, and after showering and getting dressed in a pristine outfit—a cardigan over a t-shirt and tie, with purple slacks—entered the kitchen to find a healthy repast laid out for him, complete with sticky note on the nearby bagged lunch.

_Dear Eddward,_

_A well-fed mind is a happy mind! I’m sure you won’t mind having some of last night’s roast beef in a sandwich today!_

_Love,_

_Mom_

Edd sighed happily as he tucked his napkin into his collar and dug into his turkey bacon and spinach omelet. He truly did love his parents, even if they were seldom home to see him face-to-face. He’d be lying if he said that it didn’t get lonesome at times, but every moment he _did_ get to spend with them made up for their usual absence.

After finishing breakfast and cleaning up, Edd donned his backpack and opened the front door. As per usual, Ed and Eddy were there waiting for him in Eddy’s car; an old yet reliable yellow muscle car with vertical black stripes. Eddy’s father, himself a used car salesman, had given it to Eddy on his 16th birthday two years prior.

“Hop in, Double D!” Eddy said as Ed popped open the passenger door and leaned his seat forward. Edd complied, sliding into the back and buckling himself in, only letting out a mild noise of disgust at the new fast food wrappers Eddy had thrown back there.

“So, how’s tricks, sockhead?” Eddy asked as he put the car into drive.

“Tricks are for kids, Eddy,” Ed said, wagging a finger at him. Eddy let out a groan.

Edd snickered despite the urge to groan as well. “Things are going well, Eddy, save for the odd dream, I suppose.”

“Oh?” Eddy said with an air of casualness that Edd could immediately spot as false. “Dream you forget your extra credit homework or something?”

“Maybe he had the same dream we had, Eddy,” Ed said, looking concerned.

Edd tensed. “You two had the same dream? Of what?”

“It’s nothing,” Eddy said with a wave. “Just some weird, static-y voice telling us to beware the ‘Watchman’ or something like that.”

“The Watcher,” Edd muttered, stunned.

Eddy’s face went pale, and his trademark three antennae-like hairs—now growing amid a head of dark blue shorter hair—stood at attention. “You too, huh?”

“Yes,” Edd said. “What do you suppose it could mean?”

“Evil days are upon us,” Ed moaned, clasping his arms around himself and shuddering. “Baron O’Beefdip spoke to us all.”

Eddy rolled his eyes. “Ed, how many times do I have to tell you, that was _me_ pranking you all those years ago, your toy is _not_ alive.”

“Says you,” Ed huffed. 

“Gentlemen, _please_ ,” Edd said. “I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. Maybe the result of that horror movie marathon last Saturday at your house, Ed.”

“I know seeing that much schlock in one sitting didn’t do me any favors,” Eddy muttered. “There’s a point where titles with the word ‘blood’ in them really wear out their welcome.”

Ed shrugged. “Yeah, even I have to admit, Legacy of Blood was pretty lame and icky.”

Silence fell between them then, and Edd allowed himself to relax once more. 

* * *

Later that day Edd stopped by his locker and, upon closing it, spotted Jonny and Plank passing by. He had recently surpassed Edd in terms of height despite being a year younger than the Eds, and the height of his voluminous afro made him reach near Eddy’s now-considerable height. “Hello, Jonny!” he called, waving.

Jonny jumped and spun to face him, looking unusually tired, with heavy-lidded, haunted eyes. His usual fall ensemble of an off-white sweater and jeans looked crumpled, and dark circles surrounded his eyes. He relaxed however when he saw who it was. “Oh, hey Double D.”

Edd frowned, concerned. “Jonny, are you alright?”

Jonny let out a nervous laugh. “Who, me? I’m fine! This guy, though, hoo boy, don’t get me started,” he said, pointing to Plank. “Kept me up all night trying to scare me.” He paused. “No, Plank, I’m not going to tell Double D where he can stick it.” He looked to Edd apologetically. “Sorry, Double D. Plank’s kinda grouchy.”

Edd smiled. “Think nothing of it, Jonny.”

Jonny grinned. “Okay! See ya!” As he walked off, Edd heard him whisper, “Ya really think so, Plank? Them? But why?”

Edd grimaced slightly. While it had taken a while and a considerable amount of vengeful pranking for Jonny to integrate back into the social circles of the Cul-de-Sac years ago, eventually he had been made to see the folly of his ways. But Edd sometimes wondered if Plank’s still-bitter attitude might not reflect some still-hidden resentment Jonny felt at having been ostracized by the other kids for a time after the meeting with Eddy’s brother. He sighed.

“Heya, handsome.”

Edd snapped out of his thoughts and turned to see Marie strolling down the hall towards him. She was wearing her usual combo of a graphic tee with a pink-belted pair of green cargo pants and completed the ensemble with the relatively newer addition of a patch-covered green fatigue jacket. He smiled and began to wave. “Oh, hello Marie, how are y—”

He cut off as Marie, nowadays nearly a head taller than him, came very close, placed an outstretched hand just above his head and leaned forward to loom over him.

“How’s tricks?” she said, smirking mischievously.

“I, uh, that is, I...” Edd stammered, feeling his heart begin to race. 

“You have such a way with words, Double D,” she cooed, gently grasping his chin in her other hand. “Is that mouth of yours good for anything else?”

Edd blushed furiously. “M-Marie, please! S-someone might be w-watching!”

Marie bent her knees a bit to level her gaze at Edd. “You’re such a wallflower, babe. I’ve always liked guys who take charge, but for some reason, when it’s you, I can’t help but melt at what a little mouse you are.” She gave a toothy grin. “Maybe it’s the cat in me.”

Edd let out a small involuntary squeak, and Marie busted up laughing, cackling gaily. 

Edd furrowed his brow, gaining some composure back. “Marie, please. I thought we were well past this kind of behavior in our lives.”

Wiping the tears from her eyes, Marie waved defensively, still snickering. “I’m sorry, you just. That was too good.”

Edd’s consternation melted a bit, and he gave a chuckle. “I guess it _was_ at that.”

As silence fell between the two of them, Edd couldn’t help but meet Marie’s one-eyed gaze, her blue hair still as it always was, swept down over her right eye. More and more, he had noticed lately how pretty her eye color was; deep, rich brown, like warm earth.

Catching himself, Edd cleared his throat and gave Marie a sheepish grin. “Well! It’s been a pleasure as always, Marie, but I’m afraid I must be—”

Marie leaned in close, her face a scant few inches from Edd’s. “I didn’t hear the bell, boyfriend.”

Edd gulped. He could smell the minty scent of chewing gum on her breath. It wasn’t at all unpleasant, and that fact made the boy sweat even more with nervous tension. “Marie, please. Perhaps we could discuss this at a later date,” he said.

Marie’s eyebrow raised, and Edd immediately regretted opening his stupid mouth.

“A date, huh?”

“I-I-I mean—”

Leaning in even closer to whisper in his ear, Marie purred. “Okay then, meet me tomorrow after school, and we can _discuss_ to our hearts’ content.” Kissing the tips of her first two fingers, she placed them over Edd’s lips and, with a wink, straightened up and strolled away.

Edd stood transfixed, reaching up to touch where she had placed her indirect kiss. He was surprised to find that his heart was still racing and marveled at the strange thrill being confronted like that had felt after such a long absence of overt flirting from Marie. The height difference between the two only added fuel to the fire, he was embarrassed to admit. 

_She’s still Marie Kanker, Eddward,_ he chided himself. _The same Marie who hounded and tormented you more times than you can count._

But _was_ she? After he, Eddy and Ed had gained the love and respect of the Cul-de-Sac kids, the Kankers had become much less overtly amorous. They had never stopped referring to the Eds as their boyfriends, of course, but it seemed as if the acceptance of their peers had brought about more subtle changes as well. Without their status as social outcasts, he, Ed and Eddy had been much less likely to be caught on their own and unawares by the sisters and had been able to have more control over their interactions with them.

At first, this had simply meant that the trio were able to avoid interactions altogether with the Kankers. But as time went on, a strange feeling of longing had grown in Edd’s breast—as well as Eddy and Ed’s, he was willing to wager—and they had begun to approach Marie, Lee and May to get to know them better. After all, it was hard to get to know someone especially well when you spent most of your time in fear of them.

Marie had been a particularly tough nut to crack. While May had Ed’s carefree spirit and a surprising breadth of scientific knowledge that fed into Ed’s love of science fiction, and Lee had Eddy’s assertiveness and was able to bond with him over the mutual experiences of being head honcho and wrangler of their respective groups, Edd and Marie had nothing in common at first glance. Marie was a fan of punk music, heavy metal, and grunge; Edd’s bliss was in classical symphonic fare, as well as jazz and new wave. Where Edd was easily engrossed in the classics of literature, Marie was all about pulp, from harlequin romance to graphic horror and fantasy. 

However, strangely enough, this had played into their getting to know each other better quite nicely. Without the constant threat of unwanted affection when spending time with her, Edd was able to find appreciation for the select gems among pulp stories and comics and found a wonderful blending of both worlds with the mixing up of orchestras with the harsh thrashing of heavy metal. Marie too seemed to enjoy trying to crack open works of Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, Mary Shelley and others of their like, and had eaten up knowledge on the transition that had occurred between punk and new wave, and how jazz had been quite terrifying and disruptive to mainstream sensibilities in its heyday. And then there was Marie’s art.

Edd had never noticed it before, but Marie was quite the artistic soul, in her own rough way. Painting engrossed her, from watercolor to oil, and she held quite the imaginative streak for coming up with fantastical scenes of beauty and surreal dashes of horror. It reminded Edd of old fairytales and how they toed the line between the ephemeral beauty of nature and the dark, hidden terror of the unknown, not unlike the works of Brian Froud. 

It had gone that way for the past few years; the occasional flirtation attempts aside, the Eds and the Kankers had truly become friends as they grew older and had grown to be comfortable with each other in a way that would have seemed ludicrous before. But now Marie was being aggressively flirtatious once more, and Edd was at a loss as to what to do or how this made him feel. Knowing the Kankers, Ed and Eddy were most likely getting their own little surprises today or would soon.

The fifth period bell rang, and Edd rushed off to his next class in a panic. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, whaddya think? :33 As always, comments, feedback and critiques are HIGHLY appreciated.


	3. Perhaps Something More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years have passed since the incident at Mondo A-Go-Go. Life is going well for all in Peach Creek. Graduation is eminent for the Eds and the Kankers, and while love may yet bloom from old, barren soil, there is trouble in the air. Strange peculiarities, a tainted presence, and a horror that should not be may herald the end of all life as the Cul-de-Sac's residents know it. Can it be stopped before it's too late? Life has many doors, and some are best left unopened...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW, sorry for the long break between the last chapter and this one, y'all. Lots of life events, not to mention getting engrossed in Fire Emblem: Three Houses and having computer troubles for nearly a week, delayed my writing. XwX I'm back now, though! I hope y'all enjoy, and as always, feedback/comments/critiques are GREATLY appreciated!!

“You did _what?!_ ”

Edd could feel himself shrinking under Eddy’s incredulous gaze. “I mean…she hardly gave me a chance to interject, Eddy.”

Eddy smacked his forehead and groaned. “Double D, what are we gonna _do_ with you? After everything that’s happened, you’re actually considering dating a Kanker sister?”

Edd bristled at this. “I never said I was going to go steady with her, Eddy! Putting that aside, you, Ed and I all know that the Kankers have changed a good deal over the past few years! And _you_ fraternize with Lee on a very frequent basis!”

Eddy flinched, his face going red, before turning away from Edd’s gaze with a huff. “Hmph! That’s different! Lee’s a pretty cool chick, but I’d never date her!” Looking to change the subject, he turned to Ed. “What about you, Lumpy? What do you make of this?”

Ed jumped as if goosed, turning to face Eddy with a nervous grin. “Uhhh, nope, nothing to say, Eddy! The well is empty!”

“What else is new, big guy?” Eddy snickered, reaching over Edd’s head to lightly punch Ed’s shoulder; even though Eddy had grown considerably through his adolescence, with Edd now being the shortest of the trio, Ed still reigned supreme at the height of six feet and five inches. 

The years had changed a good deal about the boys. All three Eds’ hair had grown out considerably, with Ed’s being the same shade of red as Sarah’s, Eddy’s a shade of blue somewhere between Marie and Rolf’s, and Edd’s jet black hair still only peeking out from under his stocking cap. Eddy had gained both height and moderate muscles beneath his usual chubbiness, while Ed was extremely lanky despite his monstrous strength, and Edd remained thin with a slightly wirier build as he had attempted to build up some minimal muscle mass. All three’s clothing was mostly the same, though Eddy had gotten much more use out of his leather jacket.

“Uh-oh,” Eddy said with mock horror, pointing to the full Kanker clique approaching them down the hall. “Here comes trouble.”

Change had come to the sisters as well. All three had grown to considerable heights, with Lee meeting Eddy eye-to-eye, Marie being the tallest and towering over Edd, and May the shortest but still considerable at six feet. Lee’s build was moderate and muscular, contrasting with Marie’s lankiness and May’s stout, compressed stature. Their hair, makeup and fashion sense remained mostly the same with a few modifications, with the three’s go-to answer being that ‘you don’t mess with perfection.’ Lee favored an angora coat, Marie her fatigues, and May her battered letterman jacket.

“Hey stud-muffin,” Lee said as they came close, reaching over to pinch Eddy’s cheek.

Eddy blushed and groaned, off-handedly pushing her arm away. “Hey Lee, c’mon, ease up.”

“Whatever you say, doll face,” she tittered in her husky voice. “I hear tell Marie and your little pal have plans for tomorrow! How come you haven’t asked me out yet?”

Eddy gulped and looked away. “Cuz uh…cuz I’m busy and don’t have time for dating! Gotta go to Kevin to see about modding my car a bit. Yeah, that’s it.”

Lee pouted. “Eddy, you know me and the girls know more about cars than that bike jockey.”

“Yeah, well—”

“’Yeah, well’ nothin’!” Lee said firmly. “You and me are gonna work that car of yours over this weekend!”

“You can’t just—” Eddy spluttered.

Lee lifted her bangs to look Eddy in the eyes. Eddy froze, seemingly hypnotized.

“Yeah sure sounds good,” he said dazedly.

Lee smiled. “Good to hear.” Letting her hair fall back down, she gave Eddy a quick hug.

Edd wasn’t sure whether he should laugh or not, when he noticed Ed and May were being oddly silent and sheepish, avoiding each other’s gaze and rubbing the backs of their necks. 

“Um…” Ed said, going slightly red in the face.

“Yeah…” May replied as she did the same.

Edd was perplexed. Normally the two were very chatty with one another.

“C’mon girls,” Lee said. “We got things to do.”

“See _you_ later, my little oven mitt,” Marie said as she began to walk off, playfully tweaking Edd’s nose as she passed him.

Eddy snickered at this, but quickly averted his gaze when Edd raised an eyebrow at him. 

“I suppose ‘never’ is a subjective term in your lexicon, Eddy?” Edd said.

“Ah, stuff it in your sock,” Eddy grumbled.

* * *

Later the next afternoon, Edd stood pensively by the steps leading to the school entrance, checking his watch.

 _Where is she?_ he thought. _It’s almost a quarter past three. I’d have thought she would be here immediately following the bell._

“Hey sweetie!”

Edd jumped and whirled to see Marie grinning down at him, arms folded behind her back and bouncing on her toes. How someone so tall could be so sneaky was beyond him. “Hello Marie,” he said, giving her a nervous smile.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said with a sigh. “Had to stay behind to talk with the art teacher. Working on a special project.”

“Oh?” Edd said.

“Yup,” Marie said, before giving a furtive smile. “Top-secret, though.”

Edd smiled and nodded. “I’m sure whatever it is, it will be well-worth the wait!”

Marie blushed and widened her smile. Edd had to admit, there was a certain loveliness to her genuine, non-mischievous smiles. Feeling his ears burning, Edd coughed and said, “So, where shall we go from here?”

Marie shrugged. “I figured we could just go for a walk through the woods into town. Maybe go by Café Fondue or Wootie’s for a bite to eat, then we can go by the bookstore, and just roll with the punches from there.”

Edd brightened at this. “That sounds lovely, Marie! I’ve been meaning to peruse the newest selections at the bookstore!” He paused, suddenly considering. Did he have enough to pay for both of their meals? That was what was usually expected during a…date. He began to sweat again. If it were China Palace or Crawdad Hut, perhaps, but…

Marie seemed to read his mind and grabbed him in a one-armed hug. “We’ll go Dutch this time, lover boy, don’t worry about me. I’ve been saving up for this.”

Edd let out a sigh of relief. “So, I suppose we should be off, then?”

Marie grinned and began to walk Edd towards the woods. “You got it, Romeo.”

The walk went rather well, with Edd slowly letting himself relax as he and Marie shot the breeze about various topics.

“I gave that book you lent me with all the stories by that Matheson guy a read, and they’re all a real hoot!” Marie said. “Had no idea The Twilight Zone had so many episodes based on his stuff.”

“Oh yes, Richard Matheson was a master of his craft,” Edd said, grinning from ear to ear. “Let me know when you’ve finished, so I can show it to Ed as well! I’m sure he’ll be delighted.”

Marie chuckled. “You really do love that big lug, don’tcha? You always wanna get him into fancy stuff like you.”

Edd blushed, smiling. “He and Eddy mean the world to me, Marie.”

Marie smiled as well. “There was a time when me, Lee and May resented you three for that. That you clearly cared more about each other than us.” She sighed. “Looking back, it’s hard not to see why. You’re practically siblings too. And we didn’t really do much to make you like us.”

Edd felt a bit at a loss for something to add, but thankfully their approach to the town was at its end, as they stood outside the main street near the Cul-de-Sac. After a coin toss, they made their way to Wootie’s Café.

* * *

“That was simply delectable,” Edd said as they exited an hour later, patting his belly appreciatively. “I had forgotten how good Wootie’s lobster rolls are.”

Marie belched into her hand. “You really ought to try the BLT next time. And me and the girls can make a mean lobster stew when we can get our hands on the things at the creek.”

Edd nodded, before stopping at the sight of the new grocery shop on the street, Imported Eats. “Hmm. Speaking of your cooking…Marie, follow me.”

He took off, with a curious Marie following closely behind.

As they entered the store, both were struck by the aroma of a myriad of spices, and after a couple of minutes, Edd stopped in front of a row of bottles with a rainbow of warm-colored contents, ranging from bright red and orange to deep brown and even yellow.

“Marie, may I present,” Edd said with a small flourish. “The Ketchup Aisle!”

Marie looked awestruck. “You mean…there’s more than just tomato ketchups?”

Edd grinned, nodding. “Vastly more, Marie. Mushroom ketchup, walnut ketchup, carrot ketchup, even banana ketchup and mango ketchup! And you can pick whichever one you want to try first! Consider it my treat.”

Marie turned her gaze to Edd, and he was taken aback to see tears in her eyes. “It’s so…beautiful,” she said, sniffling and wiping her eyes. “May and Lee are gonna go crazy over this.” In one swift movement, Marie had Edd off the ground in a tight hug. “You big sweetheart, you remembered how much we love ketchup!” 

“W-well,” Edd said, feeling simultaneously embarrassed and happy at the embrace. “I had been here before during an errand for my parents, and I saw this section, and thought of you three! You and your sisters _do_ make good use of it with your Kanker burgers.”

“Sweet talker,” Marie giggled, setting Edd down and pecking him on the cheek. 

Edd blushed deeply at the show of affection. “Well, it’s true! Normally I choose to partake in healthier foods with the occasional dip into unhealthy fare, but whatever you girls do with your burgers is a gastronomical delight!”

“Aww, go on!” Marie said with a wave. “You’d be surprised how much use you can get out of lard.”

Edd paled at this but managed to keep his composure. “Ha! Yes, well. Go ahead and check out the section, I’m sure you’ll find quite a bit to your liking!”

Marie considered for a while, muttering to herself as she perused the bottles about what might go well with what recipe, before finally selecting a container of carrot ketchup.

“What can I say?” she said, giving a cat-like grin. “I have a thing for orange stuff.”

Edd blushed once more, laughing half from amusement and half from nerves. “I must agree, it is a lovely hue!”

After checking out, Edd and Marie strolled to the bookstore. As they entered, both inhaled and sighed contentedly at the scent of books and print. Marie giggled, “I’ve been around you too much.”

Edd snickered, “ _That’s_ something I would have never expected you to say when we were younger.”

Marie laughed, but Edd detected a sad note underlying her amusement, and felt a pang of regret at his jest.

“Yeah, well,” she said, looking down at him. “Some things change…just as some things stay the same.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m gonna go look for something special. Meet ya back here in twenty?”

Edd nodded. “Of course, Marie. May I ask what it is?”

Marie placed a finger on the side of her nose. “Nope! It’s a surprise.” With that, she was off down the aisles.

Edd sighed. _I hope I didn’t hurt her feelings,_ he thought. _After all, the past_ is _the past…isn’t it?_

Time passed by quickly as Edd surveyed the latest scientific periodicals, and before he knew it, twenty minutes had passed, and he had four different magazines in a bag under his arm.

“Anything interesting in those mags?” Marie asked, walking up to Edd with what looked like a thick volume in a bag hanging by her side.

“Oh, quite a bit!” Edd said, checking to see if she still showed signs of the slight melancholy she had let slip earlier. “Radio waves, satellite signals and such seem to be acting strangely lately, the whole world over!”

“No kidding,” she said, and he noted sadly that the melancholy was still there. “Me and the girls haven’t been getting good reception on our TV lately. Makes it a pain trying to catch up on our soaps. Nothin’ but static-y garbage.”

Edd felt a small chill run down his spine at the mention of static but couldn’t quite put a finger on why. Shaking his head, he considered, before nervously placing his own hand on Marie’s shoulder. “I apologize if I offended you with my earlier remark, Marie,” he said. 

He felt another pang of shock, mixed this time with dismay, to see tears forming in her eye once more.

“C’mon,” she said hoarsely, tugging him out the door. “Follow me.” She rushed them down the street and back into the woods, this time toward the direction of the trailer park, before stopping and letting go of Edd’s arm.

Edd felt paralyzed. Here he was on his first actual date, and he had made her cry. What kind of colossally insensitive clod was he?

“M-Marie, I—”

“Don’t,” she said, refusing to look at him as she wiped her tears away. “Don’t apologize. You of all people shouldn’t be apologizing for anything.”

Edd was dumbstruck. “I…that is to say, I…pardon?”

“I know,” she said, sniffling. “I know I came on too strong to you yesterday. I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry about everything. Every forced kiss, every footsie, every time me and my sisters harassed you, Ed and Eddy. I can’t speak for May and Lee, but I know I don’t have a good excuse. Not really.”

She turned to look at him, her one visible eye red and puffy. “We just. We didn’t know how else to show you guys that we liked you, y’know? We thought that, if we tried hard enough, you’d _have_ to like us back. It was stupid and wrong, and I can’t apologize enough for it.”

Edd felt a lump in his throat, hearing it click as he tried to swallow. “M…Marie, you don’t have to—”

“Like hell I don’t!” she snapped, suddenly angry. “You’re afraid of me, I know you are! And I don’t blame you! I’d be afraid of me too! I _was_ afraid of you when you tried your reverse psychology crap back in the day!” She let out a shuddering sigh. “I just…thought that I could make it up to you, somehow. Be your friend, and then maybe something new could spring up. Something _real_. But now…I dunno. I think it’s too late.”

Edd tried swallowing once more, this time successfully, and screwed up his courage to get past the emotional whirlwind he was going through. “It’s true,” he said, his own voice strained. “I am still afraid. It’s hard not to be, even years later.”

He walked over and, with decidedly less hesitation this time, placed both hands up on her shoulders. Getting up on his toes, he placed a small kiss on Marie’s cheek, producing a shocked look from her. “But I forgive you. And it means the world to me that you’ve apologized and want to do better. You have been better. You were forward, yes, but you clearly have been waiting on this for a while, and the fact that you and your sisters spent the time to actually restrain yourselves and get to know us better…Marie, that means a great deal indeed. You’re our friends, and…perhaps we _could_ be something more.” 

Both went crimson at that, and Edd, suddenly realizing what he had just done, began to cough furiously. “Ahem! Well, I’ve said what I wanted to say, and that’s th—”

Marie pulled his face gently to her own, still blushing, and whispered, “Double D?”

“Y-yes, Marie?”

“Can I kiss you? For real, I mean?”

Edd’s legs began to wobble. “I… _yes_ , Marie.”

The two became one for one electrifying moment. Edd’s legs gave out entirely, but Marie was there to catch him and keep him held up to her. 

After what seemed like an epoch passed for Edd, the kiss broke, and the two, flushed and panting, gazed into each other’s eyes.

“That was very nice,” Edd said dazedly, before finally fainting in Marie’s arms.

Marie fell to the ground with a thud, still holding Edd, and began to giggle uncontrollably. “What am I gonna _do_ with you?” she said, holding his unconscious form in a tight hug.


	4. Trouble in the Woods, Trouble at Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years have passed since the incident at Mondo A-Go-Go. Life is going well for all in Peach Creek. Graduation is eminent for the Eds and the Kankers, and while love may yet bloom from old, barren soil, there is trouble in the air. Strange peculiarities, a tainted presence, and a horror that should not be may herald the end of all life as the Cul-de-Sac's residents know it. Can it be stopped before it's too late? Life has many doors, and some are best left unopened...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW, Jeez Louise, sorry this took so long, y'all. Kinda got caught up with a lot of stuff and other obligations in the last third of 2019, and I'm only just starting to shake into a good schedule again. I promise, the next chapter shouldn't take as long to come out as this one did. In the meantime, I hope y'all enjoy!

“You sure you’re going to be alright, babe?” Marie asked as she watched Edd wobble his way to his front door. He had come out of his fainting spell relatively quickly but had been in a sort of dopey haze the whole way back to his house. Truth be told, she was feeling light-headed from euphoria as well.

“I’ll be fine,” he said dazedly. “Just need to get some rest, and I’ll be right as rain.” 

He looked back as he walked inside, smiling warmly. “Thank you for the lovely date, Marie.”

Marie smiled back. “Same to you, Double D. See you at school tomorrow!”

After Edd closed the door, Marie did a small leap of joy, giggling. “ _I did it!_ You _go_ , girl!”

Soon Marie was walking through the ever-darkening woods as the sun dipped lower and lower in the horizon. She and her sisters had always had an easy time navigating the woods since they had first moved to Park n’ Flush, but this evening there was something strange about them. The usual chorus of twilight creatures was noticeably muted, and it made Marie feel uneasy.

Suddenly, as she trod over what she thought was a medium-sized branch, she heard a terrible screeching, hissing noise and leapt back just in time to avoid being bitten by the snake she had disturbed. It was at least four feet long with scales a mix of grey and black, and Marie vaguely recalled Edd once identifying a smaller specimen seen during a hike as a timber rattlesnake. But if that’s what this thing was, there was something terribly wrong with it.

The black stripes across its length were moving, writhing, swirling about its body, and when it shook its rattle, a sound like radio or television static emitted from it. It opened its mouth and Marie stepped back in revulsion as a sound like feedback on a microphone mixed with a usual snake’s hiss spewed forth.

“Cripes,” Marie muttered, debating whether she should whack the thing to smithereens right there with a tree branch or just leave it be. Edd had said snakes like this one weren’t very aggressive, but this one was clearly looking for a fight. Deciding that this creepy thing wasn’t worth the effort, she strode away in the direction of home.

The lights of the trailer park came into view, and Marie let out a sigh of relief. As she came to the edge of the clearing, she jumped as she heard what sounded like a crow’s caw, but tinny and warbled, as if through a busted speaker. She whirled and saw a black shape take flight above her, letting out another distorted cry.

_Okay_ , Marie thought, beginning to jog as she approached her home. _Reminder to self: avoid the woods for a while._

Stepping up to the screen door, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She wasn’t going to let some weirdo animals totally ruin her good mood.

“I’m home!” Marie called as she banged the door open. “I’ve got somethin’ special for dinner tonight!”

May looked up from the fashion magazine she was reading. “How was your date with Double D?”

Marie blushed and tittered as she thought back on it. “Oh, you know, a dream come true. He actually let me kiss him!”

May gaped, and Lee poked her head out from the kitchen looking equally amazed. “ _Wow_. Thought it’d take at least _two_ dates.”

Marie smiled smugly. “What can I say? Guess I’ve got more charm that you girls thought.”

Lee snorted, “Yeah, you’re oozing with feminine appeal, Beanpole.”

Marie lobbed the ketchup bottle at Lee’s head, who caught it deftly and gave Marie a teasing smirk. Marie returned the smirk and said, “No need to get jealous just cuz you’re taking your sweet time with Full Pint.”

“Eh, shut it,” Lee said offhandedly, examining the bottle. “ _Carrot_ ketchup? What’d you do, mug a rabbit?”

“Double D bought it for me!” Marine said. “Turns out that new joint in town sells all kinds of weird ketchup! Even _banana_ ketchup!”

“Banana…ketchup?” May tilted her head.

“Yup, and we’re gonna try out each one we can find!” Marie proclaimed.

Lee and May both grinned, and the trio cried out in unison, “Kanker Casserole time!”

As they made their way to the kitchen, Marie elbowed May as she passed by. “You wait too long with Ed and even that slowpoke will get away, y’know.”

May flushed deeply at this and muttered, “Mind your own beeswax, Marie.”

Marie was suspicious. May usually would have come up with something more biting than that and shoved her to boot. Something was up. Before she could think on it further, another thought occurred to her. “Hey, where’s mom?”

Lee sighed. “Out on a week-long getaway with her friends from work. She left enough for groceries and emergencies.”

Marie rolled her eyes. Of _course_ mom would drop everything to go on vacation and leave them here. Ever since May had hit eighteen, their mother had been making subtle and not-so-subtle hints that she was ready for them to go out into the world. It wasn’t as though she didn’t love them, but she obviously thought that she’d have better luck hunting for a new beau if her love nest was empty.

“On the plus side,” May said mischievously, “That means we have full control of the living room and TV ‘til she gets back!”

Marie and Lee laughed, and soon all three were hard at work, with May doing the vegetables, Marie the meat, and Lee the dough and sauce. It had taken some doing, but with the Eds vouching for them, the Kankers had been able to start buying produce and meat from Rolf. 

Rolf had graduated two years prior and was set to take over his family’s farm as head of the house, since his Nana had passed away and his father had begun to show signs of age. He was still wary of the Kankers, always taking a tight inventory of all that came and went.

_Still,_ Marie thought as she diced ham, _better than when ol’ Stretch treated us like bog hags come to steal his firstborn._ She snickered, the idea of beauties like them being hags tickling her.

Eventually all three gave a satisfied sigh as Lee placed the casserole dish into the oven. “Now then,” she said, dusting her hands off. “Who’s ready for tonight’s hockey game?”

May, Marie and Lee raced to the living room and briefly fought over who would sit where before settling in. Lee grabbed the remote. “Let the bloodbath _begin!_ ”

The Kankers were greeted with hissing static. They groaned in unison, not _this_ crap again. Lee tried flipping through the channels, but to no avail. Marie felt a tinge of unease at the irritating noise, remembering the walk home. “Hey Lee, I don’t think—”

Sudden piercing noise erupted from the television. The sisters all clamped their hands to their ears and squeezed their eyes shut, crying out in pain as they felt their teeth rattle from the vibrations. It was like someone feeding a cat into a woodchipper, magnified a hundredfold.

Marie heard a faint ‘pop’ amidst the noise and felt something sharp slice into her arm. She realized that the drinking glasses on the TV tray had exploded. As she opened her eyes, she saw that across the trailer, glass was cracking and bursting from the noise. 

Meanwhile the TV was smoking and shaking violently as it wailed, the screen showing a phantasmagoria of hideous, eye-searing shapes and patterns in snowy static.

“May!” Marie screamed. “Unplug it!”

May, who was closest to the power outlet, nodded and reached for the power cord. As she touched it, she recoiled in horror as the cord writhed and twisted like a snake in her hand, _alive_ somehow.

Lee saw all of this unfold and her mind raced. What could they do? Suddenly her eye caught sight of mom’s bowling ball, and she decided: _smash it._

A window exploded, flinging glass like shrapnel through the living room. Covering her eyes with a bloody forearm, Lee blindly grasped the bowling ball, lifted it, and threw it with all her considerable might in the direction of the screeching.

_BANG!_

With a sound like a gunshot, the television exploded in a shower of glass, sparks and smoke. 

May rushed into the hall and returned with a fire extinguisher, dousing the ruined set and the area around it before a fire could properly start.

Coughing, Marie opened the door to let the acrid stench of smoke out and grimaced upon examining the cuts in clothing and flesh the glass shards had left. “What,” she said, her ears still ringing, “was _that?_ ”

May, who was already applying bandages to Lee’s arm cuts, shook her head in bewilderment. “That noise was super-bizarro. Maybe Double-D will know what it might have been.”

“Yeah,” Lee said. “You can always count on Brains to—” She cut off and stood upright, and soon Marie and May heard it too: laughter. Distant, garbled laughter, coming from somewhere upstairs. 

In a flash all three Kankers were running upstairs, their faces masks of grim fury. “Alright,” Lee said as they stopped in front of their bedroom door, the cackling floating up from behind it. “You’ve got to the count of three to come out and face the music, creep.”

Without pause, she kicked open the door. As they leapt through, the Kankers came to a screeching halt midair as they saw what was waiting for them.

No one was there, but in giant scratchy letters, someone had scrawled a message above the head of their bed.

THE WATCHER’S HANDS ARE AT YOUR THROATS

Marie shuddered, and saw her sisters do the same. “Maybe,” she said, “we should call the cops.” Both nodded, and as they shuffled downstairs, she thought she could hear the faint sound of static once more.


End file.
